blah and blah..

i went to a Lhakhang ( monastery ) today. well my mother won't believe it in a hundred life time, but i did. And as opposed to any suspicion i did go with full faith and convictions. Faith, i surely did seem to misplace it during my torrid times but had never lost it. As someone had said once "one who stops believing in god, starting believing in anything and everything around them".

God. one topic of intense disscussion with my mother. It makes a habit out of you.. constantly seeking divine interveintion.. I always thought of temple and lhakhang not as a place to be awestruck or submit oneself to hero worshiping, but as a place of serenity where u renew yourself.. where you can reassure the belife and faith in you as a person and seek inspiration to better it.

It sure is a great place to mirror at self. to look and think for you honestly. we all are so busy living for other, to be a supply pipe of pride for other, try to look good for others approving glances, smile when it calls for a frown and so on. Fact of it is , I hate it. Being the puppet of the society where the measure of a person begins and ends with what a person pretends, rather than what a person is. Like i once heard "need of growing up not to abondon but to preserve that innocence in you" .. but am losing it.. that battle to preserve it..



p.s. its not rage.. just lines written with a spinning head after a stick or two of fags 1 month after quitting smoke!!